blank.

What do i do when i'm scared and feeling hopeless. Recalling my past makes me tear. Knowing my present makes me worry. Predicting the future, seems to be out of reach. I was so clear on my direction. On where i wanted to go. What i wanted in life. Now - its like an endless winding road covered in haze. I don't know where i'm going. And i don't know what i'll encounter. Maybe going "home" was a bad idea. It made me grow up too fast. Experience too much. To a point where i don't want to experience anymore. Life - i feel like i'm no longer here. The real me has disappeared. I don't know where she is. And i'm trying my best to find her. I realized, i'm only comfortable when i talk to those who were a part of my past. The ones who knew me. The ones who never judged me and stuck beside me. I'm too hurt. I got hurt for being myself. I know that's the reason why i'm gone.  i keep telling myself - you choose who you want to be. But what if that person i choose isn't enough.

Theres so many bad people in the world. The ones who wants to be a jackass for the sake of it. The ones who are never secure with their looks or their body. The ones who are too sensitive to anything people say. The ones who want to steal other people's boyfriends. The ones who lie to the ones they love. The ones who get pregnant and leaves their baby in a box. The ones who lie, cheat and steal. The ones who never appreciates life.  It makes me sad knowing these people exist. I keep telling myself that God surrounds me with good people. Angels under cover protecting me. I appreciate what he has given me. Though i wonder if He is sad, watching his creation go to waste.

I need to get over my past. I need to accept those people exist. I need to live my life, and stop giving a shit to those people who treated me wrong. As long as i have those people who care, who will never give me up for anything, i will be fine.